Embargo Pt. 1

Here's Embargo part 1, in PDF format (because really, why not?)

I don't know if this one's 100% perfect, but I'd like to get some different eyes on it before I move forward with the concept.

Oh right, the concept. I should explain what that is.

We've got the story of a guy named Selim, told from the perspective of three different people who see him in three different ways. This is story one. The concept I think is a good one that's worth exploring, but it became less simple as I rapidly discovered that I found the narrator to be just as interesting (if not more) than Selim. The result is something that's a bit different than what I intended.

Its pacing is a bit jumpy, but I kind of like that style of pacing. I have smart readers here, you guys should be able to keep up. It's set in the Grace universe, but as always I try to keep admission costs low for that.

I'm not sure how this one will go over, really. But let's give it a try. Let me know what you think and I'll think about how part 2 shapes up.

To Sunder the World

Man, it's been a while.

I've started six different stories between the last entry to this blog and this one. All of them sort of failed for one reason or the other. But now, over the last three days, I've actually managed to put something together and I think it will be a source of amusement to many of you.

It is called To Sunder the World and it can be found here. It is about a supervillain's ten year campaign to bring about the destruction of the Earth. It's a simple enough story, but I certainly had fun writing the thing and I think it'll be mostly fun to read. It might be overly cute at times, but the key with this story was mostly a way for me to prove to myself that stories can still be written after months and months of failure.

I hope that my next entry will come in a bit less time than the last. Until then: Enjoy!

Imagination

So I'm editting Grace, which is an arduous and grueling process that feels like it's going to take a long damn time. I find that the main problem with editing is that while it is creative work, it's really about sorting out fine details. If I change something in the second chapter I'll have to be like "okay, what does this mean for this scene in chapter 13?" Rather than calling it editing, I've come to really think of it as unification. What I'm essentially doing is taking the 500-600 pages of work I did for this thing over three years and making it into a coherent whole. And that's goddamn harder than it sounds.

But the fact that I can't escape from is that I really like writing fresh things. So I figured it wouldn't hurt to put together a short story between chapter edits. The first of such things is now down and it is called Imagination.

I personally think that this one is going to be a story that either will be a big hit and which people will tell me to write more of or a disaster that will never be spoken of again. Though I personally like it. It's different.

Notes for the story:
- The science fiction is intentionally minimized, though it takes place in the Grace universe. I wanted this to be a story that could conceivably take place now, but which is happening in a different universe.
- One thing I wanted to try with this story is quick scene changes, which are designed to force the reader into my pace. You know, like the Old Spice guy. I think that worked out pretty well.
- I also limited the physical description of things to see if that would make it more punchy. I also limited the amount of character backstory given significantly.

Let me know if you like the end result.

Memories

So this has been done for a couple of days but I was sick so I couldn't wrap it up. Here it is. This is a bit long overdue. It's about ships in space shooting each other.

Things to say about this story:

1) It changed quite a bit as it was written.

At first the narration was much more conversational, with the narrator addressing the reader quite a bit. I was trying to create the atmosphere of being told a story by an older working glass gentleman in a dimly lit (though warm) room. The problem with doing a story like that though is that the way a character like that shouldn't be a master storyteller. I thus felt a real tension between my own technical writing skills and know-how and the character.

I resolved this by making him a bit smarter and less of a rough and tumble character. But I still don't know if I got the balance between those two things right. It felt good to put a story through 2 rewrites though. Probably could use a 3rd really.

2) One year after I first bought the Hound of the Baskervilles I still feel as though I (and all other writers with me) have been forced to live in the shadow of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. It is both humbling and reassuring to know that there is a standard of writing that I shall never surpass.

3) The ship is named after the NDP guy that got rid of the Tories' foreign minister.

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Grace itself is such a mess. I think I need to rewrite the first chapter. I may as well wait till I'm completely done with teacher's college at the rate I've been going at this rate. Which will be in three weeks.

I found these notes for a short story hidden away on my desktop. I have no memory of writing them (I think I threw them down during one of my practicums when I was contemplating the injustice of this world), but they're actually pretty good as far as short story ideas go. So I'm going to try just picking them up and writing them. Should be interesting.

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In my desperation to create something during Teacher's College, I rounded up three people and started a DnD game. It's a homebrew world of my creation. If not for the fact that I'm abrasive and occasionally get into fights with my players about bullshit, I would be prepared to say that I'm running the best DnD game in the world. I mean this is top shelf shit right here.

That said, making a DnD campaign is easy. The three rules of making it happen are:
1) Don't kill all the players intentionally
2) Make their decisions actually matter
3) Add riddles.

I especially like #3. That's the one thing I've learned from playing DnD... I can now write riddles. I never knew how to do that before, but then I glanced through the DM's guide and was like 'oh! You just start with the ANSWER and go backwards!!' So that's cool. It's easy writing though. If not for the drawing maps part (which I actually enjoy) my prep time for like 8+ hours of adventure is about an hour and half that time is just spent figuring out what monsters to throw at them.

Eventually though I will probably kill them. Probably.

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With the Liberal Party's bones ground into dust, the Greater Good shall soon raise its banner over this land. It'll be funny when those fucks start talking about Proportional Representation in an election or two. Let me be the first to say: Hey assholes, maybe you should have thought of that one when you were in power? ;D

What's annoying though is that while most Canadians are done with those weak-willed fuckers, the Canadian media is still filled with Liberal Party hacks. And now that so many of those fucks need new jobs, there's only going to be more of it. I swear, if the NDP ever got coverage of its internal political wranglings when it was the third party... but whatever, if there's one thing this election proved it's that Canadians aren't overly influenced by Canada's old media.

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Little kids are hard to deal with. I don't get those creatures. But that's my life these days.

The Negotiator

I wrote this little number right here. I think I've certainly written better stories before and hopefully will after, but it turned out alright.

The thing sort of morphed as I was writing it. When I look back at my notes for this thing I really can't recognize the story from it's original conception (other than the names). I basically had another idea that supplanted the old one and while I did revise the story extensively as a result, I do fear that it may still be lacking in focus.

I also set the goal of not going over 15 pages with this story. I have trouble compressing things sometimes and so setting a hard limit like that was challenging. Though I went right down to the wire (it is 15 pages exactly), I was happy to be finished with the story without breaching it. That was one tough job.

Anyhow, I can say now that I've gotten back into the saddle now after the ravages of Teacher's College. I have a week of holidays left, which I'll try to throw another story together for, though I'm not sure if I can deliver on that. Hopefully it will be possible though.

What am I doing?

So I've been in teacher's college for a week now. Some of you may be wondering why that is. It's certainly a question that I've asked myself more than once.

I'd say it started about a year ago. I had spent an entire summer sending out one job application every day to no avail. I had no job and no real prospects on the horizon. Other than my writing, I had no real avenue for productive work or intellectual stimulus. In Japan, the common term for a young person in such conditions is NEET, which stands for Not in Employment, Education or Training. It has a bit of a more derogatory connotation in Japan, meaning someone that just sort of mooches off family members while pursuing nerdy hobbies. It felt fairly appropriate to me, as at times it felt like I was essentially living from anime to anime, game to game.

So when my father suggested that I go to teacher's college on a Friday afternoon last September, I said sure almost automatically.

Why'd I do that?

It's not because I have a terrible amount of enthusiasm for helping young minds blossom. I"m not against that, sure, but it's not something that really gives me a high. That's not to say I didn't enjoy the work I did teaching English to immigrants a few months back, but it's still not something that's essential to me.

No, the reason I said yes to that suggestion is I didn't know what else I could do. The prospect of grad school and getting a History PhD did not appeal to me. I was limited by my lack of languages and the enormous investment of money and time that that would require (for no tangible gain, getting a Professorship in History is the longest shot one can take) made it an awful prospect. Law was completely out of the question. My resume could not get me even the most demeaning of work.

So I said yes. I said yes so that I could tell people that I was doing something with my life. I said yes because I couldn't find a real justification for a no. I said yes because I'd essentially given up.

And so here I am.

I can say that after one week as a Teacher Candidate that everything they've asked of me is well within the realm of the possible. Preparing lesson plans, following curricula, throwing together 'Ideas forums' and generally making all the sounds that a teacher is supposed to make is something I'm perfectly capable of. In spite of my introverted personality, I can even do public speaking fairly well. If I apply myself, do all the readings and listen to the Professors, I think I can easily do quite well.

But no part of me wants to.

When I'm over there I take note of the raison d'êtres the other Teaching Candidates have on display. The people that have wanted to be teachers since they were 4. The people that have already spent a year teaching primary kids in Inner City London. The people that earnestly want to pursue the profession.

Do I belong with such company?

When I think back, I really did enjoy my after school tutoring last year. I liked playing Magical Banana, I liked coming up with creative writing assignments, I liked teaching essays and I liked my students. So maybe this is all nerves. Maybe when I"m waking up at 7:30 in the morning to go to teach actual students in November I'll actually feel a bit less horrified at what I've done to myself. Maybe it'll all turn out fine.

The problem is though that, given the choice, I've always known what I actually wanted to be. I finished a novel just two weeks and it's a pretty good piece of work, if I do say so. But the problem with having any sort of writing aspirations is that you are told from the get-go to presume failure. Not one person that I've spoken to sincerely believes that I can feed myself with my writing. Ever since I was 15, I have been told that I'd need a day job.

And so here I am, putting three years of work on Grace aside to try to get a day job. Is that the right thing to do?

I feel as though no matter what I do I shall have regrets. I fear that I shall be stripped of my very identity and live a miserable lie of a life that grants no succour. I fear that I'll snap and breakdown, failing the entire thing because it's just so alien to me. I fear to disappoint the parents that insisted I try. I fear myself and the many mistakes I shall make.

So what should I do?

I really don't know. It seems, however, that the inherent social drawbacks of my personality are starting to snowball together and roll down at me. It is a difficult thing.

Faith

So this is a um... hmm.

Well, it's about God and Angels and Daemons and stuff. I spell 'Daemons' with the a because the word demon seems so frail in comparison. And I tend to say 'day-mons' instead of 'dee-mons' anyhow when I have occasion to deal with Daemons. If I were to describe this story, I would call it 'strange'. But maybe it's kind of cool? I don't know. I kind of liked writing the fight scene.

I guess this type of fiction isn't really in my comfort zone, so let me make the following points before you read it:

1) I don't know anything about Doctors or Medicine.
I googled a bit and found out some interesting stuff, but a lot of the details in there are almost certainly wrong.

2) I don't know anything about parties.
And I know even less about upscale rich people parties.

3) I don't speak French.
But when has that stopped anyone?

So yeah, here it is. Enjoy(???)!